A year and a half ago, I got a call that really really left me feeling shook (one of my new favorite terms). The nurse on the phone asked if I could hold for the doctor and instantly I knew this call wasn’t going to end the way I had hoped it would. His voice came on and told me that the nodule they had biopsied had come back malignant...then he paused and I filled the gap with an “Okay”, he then asked if I knew what the word malignant meant (I think he was surprised by my calmness?!). So again I filled the quietness with a “Yes, that means I have cancer." Tears filled my eyes and I just wanted to hang up the phone. He filled me in on what to expect next and then we hung up. Ashley was with me and she was just as shocked as I was (naively I really had never even considered the possibility that it could’ve actually have been cancer—and if you know me you know that I was THE BIGGEST hypochondriac growing up).
Fast forward through doctors appointments and scheduling of my surgery, my entire thyroid was removed (want to read about it—click here). You’d think the surgery would be the worst part of it...WRONG! Try catching the stomach flu and puking almost a dozen times in one night...after having neck surgery and having two drains attached to your neck. Let’s just say it wasn’t my finest moment.
Keep fast forwarding through more doctors appointments, stitches being removed, going through my radiation treatment (and the awful diet that goes along with the treatment), and lots of blood work...that gets us to 2017 :) 2017 was spent at numerous doctors appointments because my body was rejecting every kind of medication we were trying. So, go from having no symptoms before finding out I had cancer (read here if you are confused how I found out I had cancer) to many random new symptoms including, but not limited to; itchy ness, muscle cramping, dry skin, coldness, extreme exhaustion (like falling asleep sitting upright at a table), becoming BEYOND emotional (your thyroid controls your hormones), and even weight gain (booooo).
Whenever you are adjusting to a new normal (I hate that term but can’t think of a better one) it can really take it’s toll on you. You are wondering why you, why is this happening, why do you have to go through this, will I ever feel normal again. And I think I just had to give myself permission to not understand all the change. But to just let it happen and figure it out as I go.
Fast forward again to November of 2017–WE FOUND MY MEDICATION (for now at least) and you guys, I can’t tell you how good that felt to find out!! Now onto December...my one year follow up scans. As much as I was looking forward to these scans, I didn’t realize I had to be back on that nasty diet for it. I didn’t realize I’d have to get more injections and tons of blood work AGAIN. But oh well, what are you going to do about it. I had my scan done and then really started freaking myself out. Like...I stay pretty darn calm and level headed, but having this stress on me was really messing with my mind. I waited five full days to get that call (and I actually couldn’t wait any longer, so I called them) the call that said, “Everything on your scan came back great and all of your blood work showed no regrowth." Imagine my excitement hearing those words!!! Cancer free. Still cancer free over a year later!!
I want to thank you alllll for joining me on this journey and for sending soooo much love my way. It was probably the coolest part of all of this .